so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
