there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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