He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize