I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
i now understand why vodka
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize