i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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