Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
