I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
