Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize