I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
