am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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