goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
