i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
