Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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