I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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