I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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