Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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