Pappa wants mamma naked
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
