there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize