You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I party with great urgency now.
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