i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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