I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
