I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
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