Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The power of my boobs compel you
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
