Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize