You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
