we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just forgot I was standing up.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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