so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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