I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
