He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
