Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
