I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Randomize
