I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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