i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
