Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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