Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
