just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
