I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
