Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
