If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
