I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
