I'm sorry my penis didn't work
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
