is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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