He asked to "fluff my boner.."
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
