I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
