no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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