I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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