so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
