Christians are straight up FREAKS
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
