I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
