Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
