Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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