Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize