I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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