My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
