She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
When are your genitals available?
I believe in your delicious
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
