Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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