Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
