my vag is so smooth its legendary
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
