My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
