I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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