did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
